It amazes me that I still get shocked when people disappear.

Into thin air it seems, with no rhyme or reason to been seen.

I’m just one of many who have had the unfortunate experience of being discarded away.

So, what does one do when this occurs? 

I’ve tried harder.

I’ve withdrawn.

I’ve changed myself — for better and worse.

I’ve begged.

I’ve raged.

I’ve screamed and cried. 

Yet — much to my dismay

All the consoling myself, saying, it’ll be okay…

NO! NO! NO! 

It’s NOT. It’s NOT okay!

How cruel a thing it is to feel like living trash!

A paper cup in the bottom of a dirty can!

Waiting for the big truck to come with its dreadful crash!


  1. Oh Eleanor. That is so terrible you are made to feel that way. You are not trash, and obviously finding one who is worthy of your brilliance and beauty is a so very difficult. One day. One day you will deliver yourself for your torments and terrible feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As I mentioned to Niyathy, I should’ve prefaced that the poem was not a reflection of a current feeling. Although, I often feel this way. I have found constructive ways to overcome these feelings but they still bubble up to the surface sometimes.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This isn’t the Eleanor I have been knowing. Eleanor is the feminine power who is the fire. Am I wrong, my love? You emotions are contagious that I feel trash too.Please help!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I do not have to remind you my love, there is a proverb in Tamil which means , ‘the gem is always precious even if it’s in the garbage trash” – குப்பையில் கிடந்தாலும் மாணிக்கம் மாணிக்கந்தான். So let me know when ever you feel visiting garbage , we will feel trash, together! Deal? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  3. 👌👌👌✒💖💖💖 It’s a lousy feeling to feel unwanted. Dehonesting. But in the end, it’s just a feeling. It’s nothing real, even if you feel that way. The last thing we should want is to feel the way the one who despised us wished us. Don’t give him a win. Take a breath. It could have been worse … I wish You a beautiful and happy day dear Eleonor😘🤗🌞

    Liked by 1 person

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