You Lil Dickens

Auction Me Off

A little musical scrap of my past; something I remember swing dancing to…

My love life feels like an auction

Mine ain’t as fancy as Sotheby’s

But they’re definitely disillusioned about me

Here comes the Auctioneer with his rhythmic chant

Taking bids and calling them out loud

Exciting, yes! Butterflies in my stomach as I step up to the block

I shouldn’t be nervous — I’m from good stock

Look out, fellas, she’s a stunner

One hundred, now two, now two, will you give me two?

Hey, okay! There he is, thank you, sir. We got you!

This one’s a catch, a real keeper

She’ll leave ya with a picture of her pretty pearly smile

Pick up the phone and dial

This number, this number right here, folks, 333

333, sure is pretty, whew, let’s go now —

There’s another one, POW! Up to three thousand, WOW!

Hey, bidder, bidder, bidder, what do ya say?! Do I hear four? Four?

A four for the stunner. Hey! I have four, wanna go five, sir?

Five, we got five thousand right here, this gentleman up front, go six, sir!

Hey! Six thou! Six for 333. Six for this pretty lady

Begs question though: Do they really see Me?

I don’t think they know what they’re auctioning —

Neurotic as hell

Sweet Southern Belle

A little wild, that Elle —

Can’t be sold or so I am told.

Eleanor Lorene Lowe
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30 responses to “Auction Me Off”

  1. Timothy Price Avatar
    Timothy Price

    Almost Prefect song for your auction poem. I remember you said you were blonde in your Marilyn Monroe days. A neurotic and wild southern belle would be a challenge, certainly no bid would be high enough.

    Real story here. When I lived in Spain I took lessons at a flamenco dancer’s house. He was very well known, and while I was waiting for Miguel to show up for my lessons, famous flamenco singers and dancers would drop by to visit with Ángel. One day a gypsy singer was there and he was talking about getting his daughter ready for her wedding. I asked how old his daughter was. “Twelve” he answered. “What?” I responded. “Twelve years old? Seriously. She’s a child!” He said he sold her to the highest bidder, some old guy. He said that’s the way gypsies marry off their daughters. He said the older she got the harder it would have been to auction her off for a good price. I was so disturbed, I could hardly play at my lesson. Miguel had a young daughter. Fortunately he is not a gypsy, and he didn’t care much for gypsies, but he said he was used to their weird ways.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Why! I DECLARE! Thank you, sir, you are far too kind!

      OH MY GAWD! WHOA! Loving this story and wondering why in the hell you haven’t shared it on your blog. Unless I missed it, if so, I apologize. That is something I have heard about but never seen or heard anything directly like this.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Timothy Price Avatar
        Timothy Price

        I have never mention it on my blog. Gypsies are a strange lot. I bought a book several years ago by an woman who grew up in a family if gypsies in England who lived in caravans. Did you see the movie “Snatch” directed by Guy Ritchie? The gypsy clan she was in was a lot like the gypsies in the movie. She was sexually abused by a trusted friend she called her uncle. Her sister used to blog. I haven’t heard from them in years.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
        Eleanor Lorene Lowe

        No, I didn’t see Snatch.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Timothy Price Avatar
        Timothy Price

        If you like dark humor, I think you would enjoy it.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Joe Fernz Avatar
      Joe Fernz

      I am truly surprised to hear, that such a thing still happens in the developed part of the world. Auctioning a human being!! Where are the human/women/child right activists ? Traditions and culture cannot be an excuse for such an atrocity!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. Timothy Price Avatar
        Timothy Price

        Human trafficing and illicit slavery are a horrible part of the developed world.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Joe Fernz Avatar
        Joe Fernz

        😦

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Joe Fernz Avatar
    Joe Fernz

    Loved it !!!💕💕

    I like the metaphor of an auction, for finding love. We all have our idiosyncrasies and shenanigans, yet we all are guilty of hiding them when we want to find love or companionship. We may say “I am like a open book to you” but it’s not 100% true. The fact is no one wants the 100 % truth, no one can handle it and which is fine 🙂 . What is “ok” depends on the degree of acceptance, it’s all relative. A little selfishness , a little dishonesty, a little spot, a little squint, a little quirk becomes a “Kawai” (cute in Japanese ) feature.
    It’s another thing that when people are infatuated (or in love) they will find everything cute 😀 😀 .. The logical part of the mind goes OFF! 😀 😀 eg : Pineapple boy .. Oh! No that was “Bat shit crazy” 😀 😀

    I also like the metaphor of the auctioneer, for the online dating sites. They have their own rating system, matching algorithm, marketing/actioning pitches etc. The funny part is we willingly agree to this 😀 , when we click the “I agree” checkbox without reading the terms and conditions of the app or website.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Oh, hey, thank you for teaching me a new word!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Joe Fernz Avatar
        Joe Fernz

        The pleasure is all mine 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hobbo Avatar
    Hobbo

    I loved the auction Eleanor, but those dance pictures…Wow. Don’t they make you wanna climb into the photos and join in! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Thank you! Yes, I sure do miss swing dancing, it was a blast!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Hobbo Avatar
        Hobbo

        I’ll bet!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    some got
    and most not
    you dunno til tis dust
    and rust oxide
    is brown ecru
    me to you
    well hell
    i would not have one damn clue either
    eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. thereluctantpoet Avatar
    thereluctantpoet

    Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Jeff Flesch Avatar
    Jeff Flesch

    How fantastic this is, Eleanor. Super creative, beautifully crafted, and so much fun. Love it. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Thank you, Jeff! I appreciate the compliments. It was so much fun to reminisce…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Jeff Flesch Avatar
        Jeff Flesch

        You’re most welcome, Eleanor. Always! Indeed.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Island Traveler Avatar
    Island Traveler

    A brave, honest, very relatable post. Thank you. Felt the same, that my life and I think most people are being auctioned freely against our will. We allowed Society, including a family and friends to do it. It has to stop. Not an easy battle when we are so much in demand for use. Stay strong S stay safe. Our lives matters. Our hearts matters.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      You always make such incredible comments! I look forward to them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings in an authentic and intelligent manner. You’re right, it is far from easy…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. jonicaggiano Avatar
    jonicaggiano

    That is truly shocking. Those photographs look like someone was having a great time. Tim I didn’t know you were a flamingo dancer. Fun post. 🤗❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. Journalofthegrey Avatar
    Journalofthegrey

    It was fairly honest and enjoyable. I never could dance though….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      I’m a proponent of the belief that everyone can dance it just takes some people a little longer than others. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Journalofthegrey Avatar
        Journalofthegrey

        People have told me that I’m a fusion of a lap dance and mosh pit.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
        Eleanor Lorene Lowe

        That is quite a combo. BAHAHA

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Journalofthegrey Avatar
        Journalofthegrey

        I took a dance floor 1 time. I’m not sure if people were amazed by what they saw.. or if they were moving for safety. But I own 100% that 1 time 😏

        Liked by 1 person

  10. mic Avatar
    mic

    👌👌👌✒📷🎼🎵🎶🌹🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Thank you! I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the comment 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. filipamoreiradacruz Avatar
    filipamoreiradacruz

    I love it! ❤

    Like

    Reply

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