My Musings

Melancholia

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Everything that was once whole

Shattered

Any sense of stability

Annihilated

Everyday a constant free fall

Fearful

Nothing makes you laugh or smile

Sorrowful

Emotions coming at you in waves

Drowning

Then one day you find yourself

Numb

You can no longer muster the courage

Not for you — not for anyone

Grief is like an ocean

Deep and wide

Immense and impervious to justice

Untethered and untied

You flail and flounder

Until your grief dies.

29 comments

  3. This is a wonderful poem so full of sadness. I wrote and recorded a new song this week. I was thinking about how the Calvinists believe some people are saved no matter what those people think or do, and other people are damned no matter what they think or do. In the letter to the Romans, Paul wrote “As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.” There is never a reason given for why Esau was hated. God simply loved Jacob and hated Esau. The theology of predestination was developed around God loving Jacob and hating Esau. Then I started thinking about you and other innocent people who have had to endure so much abuse and wrote the song called “A Blue Psalm”. It’s not a pretty song. If you would like to listen, the URL is https://soundcloud.com/user-334086053/a-blue-psalm

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    1. Thank you. So, you wrote a song about my dingbat parents?! 😉 No, seriously, you’re spot on with the theology of predestination, my friend. Timothy…WOW! You play beautifully! You’re so talented in so many ways. The written word, photography, music. Hit the trifecta! I am honored and so glad you shared your song with me. Thank you!

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      1. I’m happy you liked it. You are part of the inspiration. Yes. There seem to be too many dingbat parents out there. When I get on Calvin in my studies on the middle ages and theology, I find it very troubling. It’s had to explain. But he inspires songs for whatever reason. On my SoundCloud page, down at the bottom there is a song called T.U.L.I.P.. It’s five short pieces. I’m sure you are familiar with the acronym.

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      2. AAAWWW 😊 Thank you! YES! Yes, there is WAY TOO MANY! Mmm hmm…😵‍💫 yeah, T.U.L.I.P.: Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and Perseverance of the saints. You are officially the very first person I have ever encountered to say that they found Calvin a musical muse. WOW. You never cease to amaze me! Thanks for hooking me up with your SoundCloud!

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      3. You have been on the receiving end of other’s total depravity. You are long over due for a huge dose of grace. I was shaking my head about TULIP during one lecture and the lyrics and inspiration for the songs hit me. I listen to the lectures in the car, so the minute I got home, I wrote down the lyrics that had popped into my head, and then went about putting the music together, practicing all the parts and then I recorded the songs. I posted the songs separately on my blog, but then I though they should be in one file as one song with 5 different movements. I was back on Luther, Calvin and Reformed theology last week, and the inspiration for A Blue Psalm popped into my head.

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  6. This “grief, like an ocean” and “emotions coming at you in waves” is something I understood Eleanor. 😊❤️ I know this & have known this grief!

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      1. Thanks very much Eleanor, it sure is! 😞 Grief can be quiet some days then other days, it can hit you like a truck. I’ve lost my dad; gran to old age; my mum (who looked after them both and was a nurse before myself and my sister were born) died of cancer on Valentine’s Day over 2 years ago and my brother Joe died last December all in the space of 5 & a half years.

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      4. Thanks so much, it’s nice to be able to share it with someone outside my family. 😊 Thank you for listening and being understanding. 😁❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  9. How’s about we email each other? Don’t want to be clogging up our comment section for our blogs. Leave that for feedback on your writings. 😁

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    1. Thank you, Peter. I appreciate you and your kind words. Anytime I see you pop up I smile and think of the very first thing you ever said to me. It had such a profound impact on me. I even changed my description, I removed “aspiring.” Thank you!

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