***Readers Beware***
These are true stories that may shock you — anger and haunt you. Posts under this category may contain disturbing content that could upset or trigger individuals.
You can find the complete anthology: Injustice: My Bell Jar Diaries Page, at the link below, stories currently {1-7} and supporting pieces.
https://youlildickens.com/injustice-my-bell-jar-diaries/
Just as I chose to share, you chose to read. Thank you for continuing to read and comment!
Please share this information or this post with someone today!
Feverish fragments of flashbacks
You’ll never see those
Or the tears that I cry
You’ll never come close to knowing the pain of my soul
Or the undulating emotions that continue to grow
Why do you insist on asking questions you can’t handle the answers to?
I am under no obligation to explain this to you
The things I do remember, thank God, they are few
You’ll never hear my screams in the dead of the night
Or feel the ardent struggle of this internal fight
My rage burns within me like a wildfire
Just take out my broken heart and place it on the pyre
I don’t need it anymore
You took away my glow and left me in a bloody pool of sorrow
You left me with scars, deeper than even I know
The Statement you gave — what a boldface lie
What will you do next? Deny, Deny, Deny
Get out of my head and stay the hell out of my dreams
If I see your face one more time — all you’ll hear are shrill screams
Don’t walk into the same room as me — don’t you dare
This is a burden that’s already too heavy to bear
I just want to once again feel like me
Stop this cruel suffering, let me be free
Leave — be gone
Let me forget and be done
You’ll never understand the Depths of My Oblivion




I feel your silent screams and cries, and they pain me to the core.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for reading and commenting, Timothy! I truly appreciate the support and encouragement!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are very welcome, Eleanor. I wish you a wonderful evening, and a frolicking, frivolous fun Friday.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heartfelt and brave. Thanks for sharing.❤️
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you, Grace! Appreciate you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
💕🙏💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
You found so much beauty in spite of all the pain. Whatever they tried to take, that will always… always be who you are.
Sometimes, even the notes we scribble in the margins of other people’s books can be masterpieces.
LikeLiked by 7 people
Thank you, John! 🥰
LikeLiked by 1 person
As ever, hard to comment because this level of realness makes anything I say seem… not enough or inadequate. I think the other commenters said it for me. I am reading and support you in your courage.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your support and encouragement!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Phew, powerful, dear Eleanore. Thank you for sharing this poem with us. ❤ Sending love and hugs. ❤🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate you, my friend! It is my hope that it will reach those who need it the most. Even if it’s only one. It’s worth it!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, my friend. I appreciate you too! Indeed, it is worth it. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so brave of you to pen such raw emotions this vividly! Such powerful words!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Aaysid! That means a lot, I appreciate you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your courage and raw honesty. We never know who is silently suffering…and it’s often the person we’d least expect. Hugs to you.❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, you’re so sweet, thank you! That’s so true “you never know who is silently suffering…and it’s often the person we’d least expect.” Outwardly, someone can look like they’re the happiest individual you’ve ever know, inwardly, they’re barely holding themselves together with tape and glue. 🥰
LikeLike
💙💙💙
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, RoBIN. 💜💕💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just happened to stumble upon this post and in a way it gave voice to some of my feelings, even if my experience isnt exactly the same. Thank you for penning these raw emotions. God bless you for your courage.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m am sorry you went through this. I hope you are safe now. You’re very brave for posting this. I wish you all the best. You’re doing great things spreading information about abuse.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, honey! I appreciate you so much! 😊
LikeLike
Any time 🙂 I appreciate you too. You’re a survivor. You got this 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Women need safe place to hide from abuser. These programs need to be advertised and be in every community. Many years ago. My mother went to a safe house. They are needed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are absolutely right, John! I am still shocked and pained at how many people are unaware of such resources. When a family member, especially a mother, is a victim of abuse it has a way of reverberating through your life…it never goes away. I appreciate you continuing to read my work and for your thoughtful comments! 🥰
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome dear Eleanor. I believe the old days were easier for woman. The state gave my mother a apartment, food and safety freely and easy. We need the same today.
LikeLiked by 1 person
WOW, what a blessing! It makes no sense why we don’t have that now, EVERYWHERE.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. Now they pack children and women into shelters. What does that fix?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely nothing. It only makes matters worse. Those shelters are frightfully depressing and contribute to further traumatic experiences. In the state of Oklahoma, the legislature, in all its’ infinite wisdom created a plan to eradicate the use of juvenile shelters altogether. However, their short-sided thinking failed to include an alternative and did not factor in the extreme shortage of foster homes. Thus, leaving thousands of Oklahoma children without a safe haven of any kind. It is heart wrenching. Women and children are forced to continue living in violent homes or live on the streets. Their only opportunity for food, shelter, and other resources are overcrowded non-profit shelters not properly equipped to handle the influx so they have no choice but to turn them away.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m going to ask the thing that nobody seems willing to ask.. or maybe didn’t think about – Is that photo with the black eye you? Doesn’t quite look like the other 2 photos of you on this blog, but then I myself look quite different from one photo to another.
LikeLike
It is a great shock for me to read this cold reality, who was brought up to never to lay a violent hand on any Woman. If it is deep pain to me, how much more to the poor soul who suffered the pain? There is no quick-fix solution to such a situation. No salve will give that soul immediate relief. Yet time and the gentle nurturing of the soul, with the Balm of Gillead, torment will pass, because I have thanked God that it has. To the soul in the poem, I say, “I see everything in your life, I have placed your tears in a bottle, which is held to my heart; take courage, I will heal all the wounds and restore your soul to its former glory.”
Peter.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Mmmm, your kind words drip with truth and wisdom, my friend! I thank you for your compassion and encouragement. Full restorative healing, even forgiveness — these things I crave in their entirety. Have Courage and Faith, I must! I appreciate you, Peter!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Deeply feeling for you. Been through mental/emotional abuse multiple times with multiple people (and still have trouble dealing with the after-affects, but healing) and cannot even imagine how horrible it would feel to also be physically abused. Hugs to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
First of all, thank you for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment. It’s nice to know that I have reached another who has suffered in similar ways. I feel like when we share our stories it makes us feel less alone in our feelings. But more than anything, I feel like it makes us stronger like we’re taking power away from the memory instead of the memory holding power over us. If that makes sense…I appreciate your encouragement and support. I know this anthology can be a hard read. Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
I completely agree that when we share our stories we feel less alone. That can be healing in itself. I remember a lot of my past I felt like the only one that has went through this type of thing, even though I knew others had went through it from books, etc, but there wasn’t anyone in my vicinity. And, I had a very hard time finding information on my particular situation so I was clueless on how to handle it. Nowadays, information is all over the place, but that is also a challenge because there’s so many differing points of view. I’ll be looking forward to reading more of your blog as I get time.
LikeLike