A Thousand Beams of Sunshine

Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;

Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.

I know. But I do NOT approve. And I am NOT resigned.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, Dirge Without Music

If I could soak up 1000 beams of sunshine, I would

Then I’d send it from my heart to yours

I’d bottle my laughter and smiles too

Give all my love and light to you

How precious a privilege it was to me

To look through the window into your world

What a beautiful world you built!

***

Oh, to see what you’ve seen, to know what you’ve known

My greatest wish is that I can continue to bestow

On others — your infinite wisdom and kindness you’ve shown

To me — in times of great difficulty

But now my reality is helplessly faulty

The universe has tilted, left with a void, in an already lonely world

All the color is gone from mine — as are you

Darkness surrounds every arrangement we must do

Chosen with care yet blindly, for my grief is heavy and grinding!

***

Dark clouds rolling in, lightning flashing, thunder rumbling

Rain falling sideways, the wind whipping

Fitting —

Like Nature revealing Her machination, God defending His decision to take you

I stood there immobile and looked up angrily

So many thoughts flooded but I could not speak a word

Besotted by your memory

Soaked in the rain — drenched in my pain!

***

How can a heart feel so heavy and hollow?

Why can I not accept your eternal repose?

I know you’d tell me my defiant resistance was as futile as telling the wind not to blow.

Who will I call when I need tips on public speaking?

Where will I go now that you’re leaving?

Life — is so Fleeting.

I bear you no ill will for leaving me behind.

Until we meet again, you’ll be forever in my heart and in my mind.

They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled

Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, Dirge Without Music