You Lil Dickens

dolor maximus

Inhuman sounds cry out

from my awe struck mouth

Screams from parts of me

heavy laden with sorrow

Deep with regret

Oh, how I roar!

Oh, how I writhe until…

Until I do not know where my tears and sweat begin or end.

Collapsing into a puddle of my own making.

As was the cause for said puddle…a choice, my choice.

For as long as I shall live I do not think I will ever receive respite. Nor do I think I deserve such.

For what do you do with something so soul crushing?

Knowing it cannot be taken back, changed, or repaired in anyway.

Restoration and reparation evade me.

What shall I do with the sea of sorrow I placed myself in?

No life raft will I find

Only an axe to grind

With my conscience.

Eleanor Lorene Lowe
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11 responses to “dolor maximus”

  1. Jermena Avatar
    Jermena

    Hello Lorene,

    Is everything ok,

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Hello, my friend. No, no, however I cannot change it. What do you do with an insurmountable problem? How do you protect yourself from further harm from the machinations of others, those rather close to me?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Jermena Avatar
        Jermena

        Usually what I do, I try to leave the place of pain, if it’s within my power to do so. I leave, no matter how hard it may be, hoping for a better environment somewhere else. However, if it’s not within my power to leave, I pray for strength from God, to endure the situation as I ask Him to find me a better place or to just come into my life and intervene🙏🏿 And believe me, all those times in my past, He has always come through. Trust Him and wait for Him. He will come through for you.

        I encountered something very horrible earlier this year, I’ve written about it in my recent posts. If you may, you could take a look. You will see how miraculously I came out of it. The pain is still there, but I’m happier and stronger now.
        He can do it for you too my friend.

        Love you, and wishing you well🙏🏿😊

        PS. And that was a well written poem about your pain. I could see it was real. That’s why I reached out.
        All will be well🙏🏿

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
        Eleanor Lorene Lowe

        I appreciate this wisdom and sound advice. I will most certainly be reading your recent posts!

        I count myself blessed 🥹 to have such loving kindness come to me from a far away friend. It’s amazing the connections you make with just our words.

        That should be my mantra: All will be well. All will be well. All will be well.

        Thank you, love, for reaching out to me! 🥰

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Jermena Avatar
        Jermena

        You are welcome, take care of yourself 💚💚

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      I appreciate your concern.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Jermena Avatar
        Jermena

        🙏🏿❤️

        Like

  2. utahan15 Avatar
    utahan15

    you detach from toxins

    i did from my own son

    i did what i could for him

    my hair stylist talks about the horrors of her own mother

    we all have pain loss

    but do not let anyone fuck with

    the estimable eleanor.

    whose dreams are not what they seem

    look at all the lonely people where do

    they go

    where do they all come from

    dear one!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Jermena Avatar
      Jermena

      👍🏿👍🏿

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
    2. Eleanor Lorene Lowe Avatar
      Eleanor Lorene Lowe

      Thank you, my friend, your words give me courage!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. utahan15 Avatar
        utahan15

        it is nice to see you active again. take jules advice stick around.

        Liked by 1 person

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