My Musings

I Don’t Know Shadow

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I tried to die at twenty-five
Again, not long after
That. That is never a fun chapter to read.

I don't want to hear it
I don't want to quit

I pushed too hard
And for what?
SEE — I really don't have any luck!

I don't want to feel
I don't want to show

Stalled. Appalled.
Locked up — alone
Eat your words, each one — a stone.

I don't want to stay
I don't want to go

What do you want?
Why do I care?
What do I do?
Who are you, exactly?
Who am I, really?

I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.

AH — THERE! Now, I see. 
I am a seed.
I planted. 
I watered. 
Hoped to grow.
Alas, I'm barely standing in
My I Don't Know Shadow.

17 comments

  4. So powerful and poignant, my friend. I could relate to this more than I like to admit- a feeling that comes close to an existential crisis, the weird voice within that asks “What is this for?”. Could feel a lot of myself in your words. Such a touching poem. 🤍 Here’s hoping you’re doing better- sending lots of love, light and prayers your way.

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    1. Thanks, Sam. Yes, it is very much akin to an existential crisis. I always look forward with great anticipation to seeing what you have to say. It never fails to be spot-on brilliant, funny, sweet, and profound. I am glad we are connecting. Thank you for everything! Please know that you are a special presence on WP and are very much appreciated. Sending you all my love and light, as well as prayers your way too!

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      Reply

      1. Aww that’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day! Thanks a million that means so much to me. I am so so very glad that we are connecting too. I really appreciate all the wonderful adjectives you’ve used 🤍 Thanks again for making my day and Have a wonderful week! 💖

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  6. I was writing those kind a poems when I was teenager and little bit after, so I saw no-one care for me if I go or Stay, so I decide to love&live a Life in a their pure nature. Everything is just as must be. Sad mostly but help the one who is more weak than You, then You will see we all are connected 😉

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      1. Tnx. I coment because I want to help to owner these beautiful poem. Beautiful but stop asking to much, You Will miss a Life train 🚆 Live, love, make a mistakes, apologise for a mistakes but We are not Angels, we are not Wisdom, so on the end You will go without a sorrow, You will not ask “pls another more day give me” ❤

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